Secrets Out
by pixiecorn
Summary: No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Full summary Inside rewritten and BETA'd
1. chapter 1

**Pairings:** SPUFFY, as well as a few others which i'm hoping you will like.

**Summary:** Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Secrets out**

...SCHOOL LUNCH...

"Look at those losers, laughing about their pathetic little lives. It makes me sick. God their so..." Angel, Sunnydale High's most popular Jock said as he glanced over at a group of people currently taking residence under a tree and glared at them. Spike followed Angles gaze. The group in question were the losers. Nobody's that went about the school, doing home work, participating in all the math and science competitions. They weren't completely unfortunate looking but still, if you were seen talking to a loser your status was put down and you became one of the lesser people.

Their was one girl however that had stood out to him the most, apart from all the rest. She had blond hair and a great smile, green eyes and a nice rack. Their were no words that he could think of to describe her beauty but one...Effulgent. For the Past 6 months ever since he had transferred from England, from the day he had first laid eyes on the blonde bombshell, Spike Giles had been entranced by her beauty. Her name. Buffy.

Of coarse he wasn't going to tell anyone about it. He'd been labeled the schools new hottie and from the day he met Angel he hated the bastard. Taking the light off of Angel for a while made him smirk, Angel craved attention and when he didn't have enough of it he got pissed. Angel, whom Spike like to called Captain Forehead on the account of the massive gap between his hair and head, his hair which had been pushed up so high at the front leaving a massive gap in between, sat staring at the losers glaring as the youngest brunette stuck her middle finger up at them laughing as she did so. Spike's stare continued on as he watched the close group of friends interact with each other like he did every day at lunch. Smiling as the laughter that broke out following the death stare Angel had just sent their way.

"Dawn stop it. Great now He's gonna spread more rumors and bag us out for the rest of the year." Dawn stuck up her middle finger and waved at Angel and Spike. Sunnydale Highs new hottie.

"Hey Buffy, I might be your sis and the total opposite to you, but there is no way in hell that I am ever going to stop doing that to him. I don't care how many rumors he spreads." Willow, Dawn, Anya, Xander, Oz and Buffy all burst out laughing as they saw the fuming face and glare that Angel was directing at them.

Xander trying hard not to burst out laughing again held his hand over his face. "So buff, you guys playing tonight" He said to Buffy glancing over at the other two band members. Oz and Dawn.

Buffy, Oz and Dawn were in a band called Fang. Almost every night you'd be able to find them playing at the local club called the Bronze. Buffy was the lead singer in the band however at times Dawn and Oz would do backup vocals. Oz played the guitar and Dawn played the drums. Whenever they had a gig not to far away were Xander, Anya and Willow groupies and best friends.

No one at the school knew it was the losers up on stage 5 nights a week. That was the beauty of it, they might get teased everyday all day at school. But every night with the music pumping through their fellow students veins, they smiled because they knew they were then the popular ones that everyone wanted to be. It became a routine, a ritual of sorts that each night after school the group went over to the Summers residence (Buffy and Dawns house) and did extreme makeovers on themselves. Changing now into their punk/goth selves, they would streak hair, wear leather clothes, heavy makeup, some wore different contacts in their eyes. Their was a little bit of a problem, un-known to the band. One man saw through it all. Spike was not so easily fooled.

Spike who's focus on Buffy hadn't changed since the groups laughter had ceased and was snapped back to reality when Riley and Connor walked over and slapped him on the back.

"Sup guys, what you doing" Connor said trying to sound as laid back and cool as he possibly could. He failed miserably as Riley shook his head and patted him on the shoulder. Spike laughed and shook his head focusing on Connor, already missing her smile.

"Poofter over here was just thinking of some rumors we could spread bout the losers, mate. Their being pathetically pathetic again." Spike said. As much as it hurt saying that Buffy and her friends were pathetic he did it. Being popular had it's perks sometimes, but it got lonely after a while. Having the light on you everyday wasn't all it had cracked up to be. But times were changing and it wouldn't be long until everyone knew...Their secret.

"Right on man" Riley smiled at Spike whilst high-fiveing Angel nodding slightly as he did so. Taking a seat atop of the bench next to Angel and facing Spike, Riley sat feeling a little bit awkward. Connor looked across at his elder bother Angel and then at Riley, who was sitting just that little bit close. Angel glared and pushed him off the table top.

"Anyway. You guys bronzing tonight. Fangs playing again. Fuck their hot" Angel said interrupting Riley as he was about to yell at him. Tilting his head he whistled low as two hot bottle blondes walked past. Their skirts, well lets just say really short. Connor completely oblivious to the girls walking past started talking.

"They have to be the best band this year that the Bronze has had playing. Ohh not to mention bit is soo hot" The guys turned their heads slowly and all stared at Connor at the enthusiasm in his voice, he was practically jumping up and down. Bit was Dawn's stage name she was known as in the band. Buffy was called The Slayer because she kicked ass and knocked everyone out with her high pitched vocals and demon look she had, her looks killed. Oz, he was known as Wolf, not to many can say why exactly why that is though. Its thought because his previous girlfriends say he's an animal in bed.

"WHAT! I don't have anything on my face do I" Connor said looking puzzled as they stared at him, touching his hair and wiping his face. Their blank stares continued.

"Poofter, tell your little brother that if he wants to talk bout Fang chicks or just chicks in general, than he has to talk bout the hot one's which we all know as Bu...The Slayer or those damn fine asses that just walked past" Spike said quickly re-correcting his mistake. Almost letting her secret slip. Angel burst out laughing.

"Sorry bro but I gotta agree with peroxide boy over here, the ass on that bitch. WOAH!" Angel smiled as Spike smirked glancing over at Buffy as she bent over to pick up her school bag that was under the table where her group was taking residence. She turned and sat down glancing at him. Seeing Spike returning her gaze her face flamed red and it made his smirk deepen. Buffy ducked her head and tucked a stray piece of hair from her face. God she was gorgeous.

"Someone has a crush" Dawn sing songed. Smiling as she bumping her sister in the side walking around the table to take a seat. Buffy's blush deepened and she ducked her head some more, hoping he still wasn't looking at her.

"Dawn" Buffy yelled half whined. She stood, pulling her sister away from the rest of the group who were in a deep conversation about the chemical reactions between two random isotopes. Dawn snatched her hand out of her elder sisters and fixer her shirt.

"Buffy chill. God, calm down. Your secrets safe with me I wont tell anyone" Dawn smiled at Buffy putting all of her weight on one side of her leg. Buffy just stared back with a passive look on her face. Unsure of what to say next Buffy glared.

"You better not. Or I'll tell Connor you like him. If anyone, even our group found out I liked Spike I would be the laughing stock of the whole school, not to mention I'd get my ears talked of by Xander" Buffy whined, pouting slightly. Dawn Gasped and pointed at Buffy. The group still not paying them much attention glared over at the table where Angel and his goons where after being hit with foil balls.

"You better not tell Connor" Dawn threatened Buffy. "Besides I think its sweet that you like Spike and I think he likes you to." Buffy's jaw dropped as Dawn said it. Her face showing a 'As if' look on it. There was no way the hottest guy in school liked her. things like that just didn't happen. Did they?

"Speak of the devil. Here he comes now" Dawn squeaked grabbing Buffy's arms watching as Spike walked over. Buffy appeared to be very panicked glancing around back towards her table of friends but never turned around. Her face getting redder by the second.

Spike was walking away from his friends after being dared to go and shove Buffy into her sister and onto the ground. Un-known to his group, in his hand resided a small piece of paper. Written on it was a note. Walking straight past Buffy and Dawn shoving Buffy as he did so, he quickly slipped the folded note into the pocket of Buffy's jeans at her butt. The guys at the "popular table" burst out laughing seeing Buffy stumble and trip over onto the ground. Her face was classic, but one of sadness as she watched Spike continue walking.

"Watch where your going you jerk" Dawn yelled, glaring at Spike as he walked past them both, uncaring that Buffy had just fallen face first into the dirt. Helping Buffy up Dawn sighed. Why did males have to be such pricks. Buffy dusted of her jeans and fixed her clothes. Shaking her head dirt and leaves fell out and she sighed some more.

"So much for the 'I think he likes you to' part Dawn." Buffy said sadly watching Spike's retreating back as he disappeared into the school. The popular group pushed past them both and their table laughing as they followed the same path as Spike.

...SUMMERS HOUSE LOUNGE ROOM...

"You guys are wearing black right, leather or..."

"Yeah" Buffy and Dawn replied in sink with each other.

"PERSONAL JINX" They both yelled out to each other laughing. Oz was on speaker phone and his laughter could be heard from the phone sitting on the coffee table. They sat flicking through channels on the TV.

"(laughs) I guess I'll be seeing you guys soon then. Ready to rock it out hard see use later then." Oz said. You could hear the smile in his voice. He hung up as Buffy stood and placed the phone back on the charger. Yawning she made her way over to the stairs.

"I'll be in my room getting ready" Buffy said walking up the stairs Dawns brief "Yeah whatever" was herd as she shut her door. Once in her room Buffy started pulling drawers and cupboards open. Pulling out numerous shirts, skirts, leather pants and corset tops throwing them onto her bed. She stared, head tilted to the side trying to decide what she would wear. Outfit chosen she set to work on creating "The Slayer".

As Buffy was pulling down here jeans to get dressed a small piece of paper fell out of her back pocket. Curious as to what it was she unfolded the piece of paper. It read.

**"I'll be seeing u at the Bronze Slayer. Sorry about the pushing you over thing pet. It was the only way I could slip the note into your pocket. By the way, u have a gorgeous ass luv.**

**Spike."**

Buffy smiled at the note as she looked at her ass in the mirror. She let out a laugh. Shaking her head she placed the note on her night stand.

"Stupid pervert" Buffy smiled. Only then did she actually take notice as to what the note had really said. The smile that had been on her face for the last 5 minuets was wiped clean in mere seconds.

"SHIT" Buffy gasped. "He knows who I am".

**Well that's then end of the first chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any ideas or suggestions let me know. any bad feedback don't be affriad to tell me, i'd like to know if it was bad lol. anyway review nods. again i'd like to thank Chriss Nicole for being my BETA**

**Theirs more to come soon. **


	2. chapter 2

**I hope you all enjoed the first chapter thatnd for commenting everyone. Enjoy the second chapter. **

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Previously:**

"I'll be in my room getting ready" Buffy said walking up the stairs Dawns brief "Yeah whatever" was herd as she shut her door. Once in her room Buffy started pulling drawers and cupboards open. Pulling out numerous shirts, skirts, leather pants and corset tops throwing them onto her bed. She stared, head tilted to the side trying to decide what she would wear. Outfit chosen she set to work on creating "The Slayer".

As Buffy was pulling down here jeans to get dressed a small piece of paper fell out of her back pocket. Curious as to what it was she unfolded the piece of paper. It read.

**"I'll be seeing u at the Bronze Slayer. Sorry about the pushing you over thing pet. It was the only way I could slip the note into your pocket. By the way, u have a gorgeous ass luv.**

**Spike."**

Buffy smiled at the note as she looked at her ass in the mirror. She let out a laugh. Shaking her head she placed the note on her night stand.

"Stupid pervert" Buffy smiled. Only then did she actually take notice as to what the note had really said. The smile that had been on her face for the last 5 minuets was wiped clean in mere seconds.

"SHIT" Buffy gasped. "He knows who I am".

**Secrets Out Chapter: 2**

...THE BRONZE THAT NIGHT ...

"Buffy. Are you ok. You look nervous...Your never nervous." Dawn asked starting to get nervous herself. Her raised voice alerting Buffy. Buffy was never nervous before a gig and seeing her sister's walls fading away made her pensive about the concert they were about to perform. Buffy and Dawn were in the back of the bronze getting ready for their set. The room being used for extra storage and band dress room. It was small but it was enough for them. Fixing up technical problems that they had encountered during the practice session just 40 minuets ago. Fixing her hair in the mirror one more time Buffy broke her intent gaze and turned to face her sister. Both face's full of nerves. Buffy let out a breath almost a sigh before answering her sister.

"Ahk, Well you know Spike right, well obviously you do cause he's major with the hottness and the new english guy at our school" Buffy babbled. Hugging her arms around her body. Dawn knew it was nerves. Buffy only ever took that stance when she was nervous and that wasn't very often.

"Buffy your babbling, now get to the point already. Why are you wigged out about tonight so much." Dawn butted in Buffy's rambling, giving her sister an impatient look. Buffy raised her eyebrows as a staff member came in and told them they were on in 5. Her nerves hitting overdrive she rushed the rest of the story out.

"Ok, Spike he... um yeh pushed me into you and then slipped a note into my jeans." At Dawns look of 'yeh whateva whats the big deal' Buffy half but yelled out the rest. "Dawn he called me the slayer ok, he knows who I am which probably means he knows who you are and he knows who Oz is. OH this is so not good" Buffy said shaking as Oz walked in to gather them both telling them they were on now.

"Ok calm down, just calm, breathing Good, breathe. We'll do tonight's show and pray to god he doesn't tell anyone about it." Dawn said stroking Buffy's back as they walked out the storage room door and onto the stage. Buffy's breathing evened out as the crowd yelled out their names. They all took their place behind their instruments. In Buffy's case hers was the microphone. Oz took up place at the left hand side of the stage flanking Buffy's right as Dawn seated herself at the Drums.

Oz started the opening ballad as Buffy scanned the crowd hoping a certain bleached headed wonder hadn't shown up yet. As Dawn followed suit after Oz and started to play Buffy knew her key was coming up soon. Swaying to the music and giving the crowd a sultry look she started to sing. "Perfect by nature, Icons of self indulgence, Just what we all need, More lies about a world that..." Oz and Dawn both smirked and picked up the pace. Their crowd of fans on the dance floor starting to jump to the beat. was

"Never was and never will be, Have you no shame donn't you see me, You know you've got everybody fooled" Buffy yelled/ sung out loudly. Those who had seen Fang play knew the lyrics and all attempted to raise their voices to the level of Buffy's. All of coarse failing miserably. Her voice was unique and their was no other that sounded anything like hers no matter how hard they tried to. Buffy smiled watching couples dance and young teens dirty dance.

As the beat started to slow Buffy looked out at the crowd and took the microphone from its stand. Walking to the front of the stage she swung her leather clad hips and gave her most seductive look she could. "Look here she comes now, bow down and stare in wonder, Oh how we love you, No flaws when your pretending, But now I know..." Buffy ran her hands through her hair and shook it side to side as the music/beat quickened.

"She never was and never will be, You don't know how you betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled." Walking and dancing, jumping at times, Buffy walked the distance from one side of the stage to the other. Completely losing herself in the beat. "Without the mask where will you hide, Can't find yourself lost in your lies." Buffy smiled as she spotted her friends sitting at "their table" (Anya, Xander, Willow).

"I know the truth now, I know who you are, and I donn't love you anymore" Buffy acknowledged her friends presence by nodding and smiling as she jumped to the beat. "It never was and never will be, You don't know how you betrayed me, some how now your everybody's fool." Buffy sang raising her voice to that high octive. Completely lost to the beat and screaming fans she didn't notice Spike enter the bronze and stand not to far from the side of the stage. Buffy gave another sultry seductive look to the crowd raising her eyebrow.

After another half hour of singing, dancing around the stage and hitting unbelievable high notes the band stopped. Dawn walked up to the mike and took it from Buffy. "Ok guys were gonna take a break so you'll just have to stick around and wait for us to return. In the meantime the Dj will be taking over" Placing the mike back into its stand Dawn followed by Oz and Buffy exited of the stage.

Once the three band members had reached their table where Willow, Xander and Anya greeted them with hugs and smiles Buffy motioned towards the exit. "I'm going out for some air ok" They all nodded and watched as she walked away. Starting up a conversation about how their performance went. Dawn told the others about the small problem they were having.

Buffy walked outside and sat on the hood of Xander's car. He wouldn't mind. Leaning back against the windscreen she lay staring up at the sky. The stars glinting back at her. A cool breeze made her hair blow over her face. Closing her eyes she heard a voice. One that she had been caught eaves dropping on so many times...a very British voice.

"You looked good up there tonight" Nervousness fluttered through Buffy as she sat up cautiously. Looking at Spike Buffy slid to the end of the cars bonnet. He took a puff of his cigarette and stalked closer to her.

"Yeah, I guess we did" Buffy watched and waited. How she hoped one of her friends would came and save her from his intent stare. Why was he looking at her like that. She met his stare with one of his own.

"Great lyrics to the opening act luv. Shows the people behind the names" Buffy laughed at Spikes choice of words. He winked and came to lean against the bonnet of Xander's car beside her. Sliding away from him a little Buffy spoke. Voice shaking.

"And what would you know about our names" Buffy looked Spike square in the eyes. Those gorgeous blue eyes. Never had she been this close to him. She could smell him, and he smelt sexy. Cigarette's, beer and aftershave. Boy did he look hot. "Yummy" Buffy thought.

"Well for starters I'm not as blind and dumb as the rest of the Sunnydale student population seems to be. Who could not peg your face to that of one Buffy Summers. Your gorgeous luv." As Buffy's blush became more evident Spikes smile grew.

Moving to sit next to her on the bonnet he continued. "The rest of you little gang. Well, your sis would be Dawn right, but the people that are to blind and dumb to see it just know her as Bit or Niblet. Am I right so far?" As Spike gave her a questioning look Buffy looked away and gave him a look that said OH SHIT. Smirking he threw his finished smoke to the ground.

"Wolf, well that'd be the red head. Kinda hard to not recognize him as Oz. That guy changes his hair to the most outrageous and obvious colors." Buffy leaned back onto the windscreen of the car again.

Letting out a laugh she smiled. "Says he who has bleached peroxide hair. Anyway how did you figure it out so quickly. And why tell me. This is some joke so you and your mates can laugh it all up. The losers are trying to be cool. yay" Buffy rambled on as Spike tried to interrupt her, she sat up straighter.

"Luv, I'm not going to tell anyone or spread rumors. Believe me when I say I know what its like to not be noticed. Been there done that. I want to help. I watch you everyday at school, watch how everyone else picks on you and your group. That was once me. Then I saw you tonight. Saw the way you lit up the room as you sang. You should be like that all the time pet" Spike rested back using his arms to hold him up as he smiled at Buffy. His hands grazing hers as they rested on the bonnet.

"You really want to help. I don't think you can. Do you know what would happen if people found out" Buffy's eyes opened wide as she spoke. dreaming up images in her head of the reactions she would get from people at school. Her face was covered in a look of horror.

At Spikes laugh she broke her trance. "It won't be that bad pet. C'mon your fans await. We'll talk more about how I'm going to help you and your friends to become losers no more. BUT for now I think its time for you to get that sexy ass of yours back on that stage and sing your heart out. I know I can't wait to be on the receiving end of one of those looks pet." Spike said smirking with one eyebrow raised as he hopped off the bonnet and helped Buffy to her feet.

**I hope you all enjoyed the second chapter. Thanx again to Chriss Nicole for being my BETA and everyone who commented the first chapter it was greatly appreciated..**

**stay tuned for the next chapter:)**


	3. chapter 3

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Previously:**

"You really want to help. I don't think you can. Do you know what would happen if people found out" Buffy's eyes opened wide as she spoke, dreaming up images in her head of the reactions she would get from people at school. Her face was covered in a look of horror.

At Spikes laugh she broke her trance. "It won't be that bad pet. C'mon your fans await. We'll talk more about how I'm going to help you and your friends to become losers no more. BUT for now I think its time for you to get that sexy ass of yours back on that stage and sing your heart out. I know I can't wait to be on the receiving end of one of those looks pet." Spike said smirking with one eyebrow raised as he hopped off the bonnet and helped Buffy to her feet.

**Secrets Out Chapter: 3**

...THE BRONZE, DANCE FLOOR...

Spike and Buffy were dancing as the DJ's sound system pumped out the tune to that of Breaking Benjamin's "Dance With The Devil'. The tune suiting their situation perfectly. Buffy's leather clad body swung low to the beat as Spike gripped her hips.

"Here I stand, helpless and left for dead, Close your eyes, so many days go by, Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right" Buffy spun as Spike pulled her body flush up against his, his hand making its way up her back causing her to straighten, her gaze meeting his.

"I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies, I won't stay long, in this world so wrong" The crowd looked on as the two blonds became the center of attention. The hungry gazes that were made at them. People craved a relationship like theirs seemed to be. So raw and passionate. Buffy's hands weaved their way up Spikes chest. His hands dipped low on her back resting just above her hips.

Leaning back slightly forcing her chest into his, Buffy shook her hair and sent Spike that sultry look he had been waiting for. "Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight, Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight" Those eyes. God those eyes, the bluest orbs she had ever seen in her entire life. This man would be the death of her, he was definitely the devil in her world just waiting to reek havoc, spreading her secret.

He said he would help. Surly he wouldn't betray her and become a bastard like Angel was 24-7. "Trembling, crawling across my skin, Feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine." Spike span Buffy around and pulled her back. Her back flush with his chest. His hands making a downward path across her body. Buffy's arms wound their way around his neck, head tilting to the side her eyes fluttered closed.

"I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies, I won't last long, in this world so wrong, Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight, Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight, Hold on, hold on" Lips. Spike lips. Lips of Spike. Hungrily attacking her neck. All sense of normality left her.

Buffy Summers known loser at Sunnydale high was dancing with Spike Giles. A moan escaped her lips as his hand found their way under the front of her top caressing her stomach.

"Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight, Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight, Hold on, hold on"

As the music stopped the crowd cheered. Buffy and Spike made their way over to the side of the stage. Fixing her hair and singlet Buffy turned to face Spike. He was leaning up against the wall looking at her. Lust filled eyes. God he looked sexy. Tight jeans, black shirt. Trade mark duster yep this man was sex on legs. Occupants of the bronze both male and female were sending the couple death stares. The males wanted 'The Slayer' and the females just wanted Spike Giles.

As Buffy went to speak Dawn came rushing over smiling, a look of 'You are so giving me details later' written all over her face. "Hate to interrupt all the hot kinky sex dancing and all but we gotta do our next set." Dawn pulled on Buffy's arm sending Spike an apologetic look for snatching away her sister so soon.

"I'll talk to you at school" Spike said standing straight watching as Buffy and Dawn's steps faltered and stopped. Buffy started to ramble. Dawn just looked freaked out.

"You can't talk to us... me at school... I'm considered a loser...You'll be a loser...no to the talkyness at school...Bad BAD idea!" Buffy said raising her voice her eyes as wide as saucers. People started to chant "Fang" waiting for the two female members of the band to ascend the stairs and start.

"Buffy we'll talk about it later" Looking towards Dawn continued "I'm sorry and all but talking at school is bad we'll figure something out later, nice meeting you." Dawn pulled her shaking sister to the stage and shoved her towards the microphone. Buffy sent Dawn a death glare and turned to the crowd showing one of her 100 dollar smiles.

The songs and tempo picked up as Buffy's voice changed from song to song. After about 5 songs, panting Buffy started to speak. Her forehead covered with perspiration.

"Hey guys, hope your all enjoying yourselves tonight" As the crowd let out a cheer Buffy smiled and continued. Throughout the 5 songs being played Spike had walked over to a table where Angel, Andrew and Riley were seated.

"We've got a new song prepared, little bit different to what your all used to hearing. I'm gonna need a little help from a friend of mine. Willow can you come here please." Buffy smiled seeing her best friends eyes open wide, shaking her head in her seat she reluctantly stood and while shaking, made her way onto the stage.

"What are you doing...I'm not ready for this...no...Buffy no...I am so getting you back for this later" Willow stuttered rambling as Buffy pushed her over to where a keyboard had been set up on stage.

"Come on Wills, I need you on keyboard, please" Buffy begged batting her eyelashes. Willow laughed and sighed. Submitting she took her place standing. Buffy smiled hugging Willow and walked back to the mic.

"Lady's and gentlemen I would like you to welcome Willow, she is one of the bands closest friends and has helped us out with a couple of new songs, this next one is pretty new so, yeah, here goes." The crowd clapped as the music started.

Over at their table Angel and his group stared at the stage. Frowns all marring their faces. Except Spikes.

"What a loser" Angel laughed as Willow took her place behind the keyboard. Riley joined in on Angels laugh.

"Poof. Cut the nerd some slack mate. You don't even know how good she is yet" Spike said hitting Angel's arm as Willow started to play.

"Who cares. Anyway what were YOU doing dancing with the slayer." Angel glared at Spike. Riley and Andrew also stared at Spike.

"You jealous mate. I got to put my hands all over her hot little body, while your stuck here with dumb and dumber." Spike smirked pointing at Riley and Andrew. Buffy's voice floated through the sound system covering out the voices of people talking.

"Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming, cannot cease for the fear of silent nights, oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming, the goddess of imaginary light." Buffy and Willow were the only sound being made. Oz started to follow lead and soon Dawn followed.

"In my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby, I lie inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me." Buffy opened her once closed eyes and scanned the bronze. Watching people sway to the beat she found those blue eyes she'd been looking for and smiled.

"I linger in the doorway, of alarm clocks screaming, monsters calling my name, let me stay, where the wind will whisper to me, where the raindrops falling tell a story" Buffy sang sweetly walking from one side of the stage to the next.

"If you need to leave the world you live in, lay your head down and stand wide, though you may not remember dreaming, something waits for you to breath again" Unknown to Buffy that someone was leaving her world right then as she sung the words. Descending the stairs she walked through the crowd and made her way to various tables.

Stopping every now and then she would sing out a tune and smile at the occupant of one of the said tables. One occupant happened to be Spike Giles and he got a special look from her. She walked over to where Anya and Xander sat and smiled at them before turning and making her way back through the crowd on the dance floor to the stage.

Oz started to play his guitar solo as Dawn kept the beat going on the drums. Willow had stopped playing the keyboard and watched Oz smiling. Her boyfriend was so cool.

"OOOOH OH OOOOOH" Buffy sang. Her voice holding a gothic tone to is as Dawn and Oz played.

"In my field of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby, I lie inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me" The song came to an end with the keyboard and the guitar. The crowd cheered as the band took their leave. Willow hopped of the stage and practically ran to where Anya and Xander were seated. Oz and Dawn followed soon after.

"Guys we'll be back on Monday with some more of the new stuff ok. But for now you've got kick ass DJ's to round up this evening." At his cue the DJ started mixing his songs and the throngs of people started to dance again. Buffy descended the stairs and made her way across to her group of friends.

"Calling it a night guys, me and Dawny are going home to discuss our situation about a certain blonde person" Buffy smiled pulling her sister to her side. The group said goodbyes and each made their way home.

...SUMMERS HOUSE THAT NIGHT...

Dawn and Buffy walked through the front door still talking about what they were going to do about the situation. Buffy smiled seeing her mother laid back on the couch.

"Hey mum watch ya doing watching TV at this hour" Buffy said plopping herself down in front of her mother. At her mothers lack of response Buffy turned to meet her mothers cold dead eyes.

"Mum...MUM...please wake up...mummy" Buffy yelled. Tears blurring her vision as she shook her mothers body.

"MUM" Dawn cried running over to Buffy prying her hands off their mother. Buffy screaming and crying, body shaking, vision blurred.

Buffy and Dawn couldn't remember who had called Giles or the ambulance, they couldn't remember how it happened all they saw was the body of their mother lying lifeless on the couch. Time seemed to stop, or speed up neither was sure. Buffy lay crying in her mothers room as image after image flashed through her head. Seeing her mother like that and finding her had been that hardest thing she had ever had to live with. Knowing never again would her mother smile, cook her and Dawny breakfast.

With her face covered in tears, Buffy cried herself to sleep on her mothers bed. Her mothers sent surrounding her.

**please dont kill me hopefully the next chapter will be up soon...i'd just like to say thanx again for Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:) and thanx to all of those who have reviewed:)**


	4. chapter 4

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Previously:**

Dawn and Buffy walked through the front door still talking about what they were going to do about the situation. Buffy smiled seeing her mother laid back on the couch.

"Hey mum watch ya doing watching TV at this hour" Buffy said plopping herself down in front of her mother. At her mothers lack of response Buffy turned to meet her mothers cold dead eyes.

"Mum...MUM...please wake up...mummy" Buffy yelled. Tears blurring her vision as she shook her mothers body.

"MUM" Dawn cried running over to Buffy prying her hands off their mother. Buffy screaming and crying, body shaking, vision blurred.

Buffy and Dawn couldn't remember who had called Giles or the ambulance, they couldn't remember how it happened all they saw was the body of their mother lying lifeless on the couch. Time seemed to stop, or speed up neither was sure. Buffy lay crying in her mothers room as image after image flashed through her head. Seeing her mother like that and finding her had been that hardest thing she had ever had to live with. Knowing never again would her mother smile, cook her and Dawny breakfast.

With her face covered in tears, Buffy cried herself to sleep on her mothers bed. Her mothers sent surrounding her.

**Secrets Out Chapter: 4**

...AFTER JOYCES DEATH...

Buffy stayed in her room, refusing to leave the house, she didn't want the comfort from others telling her everything was going to be ok because it wasn't. the one thing she had loved the most in her life was gone. Buffy burst out crying. Her mother was gone never again would she hear her laughter or her voice telling her she was grounded. Her mothers comforting hugs was one thing she would miss the most. Buffy sat in the middle of her bed holding her guitar, pictured of her mother throughout various stages in her life spread across the bed sheet in front of her. Strumming a few chords on her guitar Buffy weeped.

Giles had come to look after Dawn and Buffy after they had all left the hospital, thinking it best that Buffy and Dawn not be alone in a time like this. Joyce had died of a stroke, there was nothing that anyone could have done to save her. Giles sat on the couch and stared at the blank screen on the TV, a bottle of jack loosely hung in his hand. He could hear Dawn crying from her room and the sobs coming from Buffyâ€™s room mixed with notes from a guitar. Rubbing his eyes Giles cried...the woman he had loved, never being able to tell her. He had lost her, and now he swore to himself that taking care of Dawn and Buffy was his number one priority.

...NEXT DAY AT SCHOOL...

"Dude what's up with the nerds today" Riley said breaking his gaze from the group of people who all sat in silence staring out at nothing, as Angel, Conner and Spike sat down next to him. They were a few tables away from the nerds/losers. Spike, Angel and Connor all followed Riley's gaze. Silence. Somber faces all staring out at nothing. They looked so lost. Spike looked at Buffy intently. For one who usually had a golden glow around her was now distant and dim. She looked as if she hadn't slept in a while, her eyes and nose all puffy like she had been crying, her elbows were holding her head up as she stared down at the table.

"Who gives a shit about the losers" Angel laughed feeling awkward. The guys all joined in on the awkward laugh. Spike however wasn't laughing. He looked at Buffy sympathetically. 'This isn't right...their never like this, something's wrong' he thought. A few people had started to joke about the losers and why they looked so sad. Someone had ruined their favorite text book...Their assignment had gotton soaked...the 2 dollar store had run out of jumpers. Buffy looked up and saw Angel and his "posse" laughing at them and saying stuff. Buffy wiped her eyes, tucked the hair behind her ears and got up. She stalked over to where Angel and his group sat at their table.

"Buffy what are you doing" Willow said alert and watching Buffy walkover to Angels table. Dawn lifted her head off the table as Buffy brushed past her. She hoped to god her sister wasn't going to do what she thought she was going to do.

"Do you have something to say Angel, cause if you do say it to my fucking face, don't go laughing around with you uptight jackass friends." Buffy glared at Angel, half but yelling at him. Angel just burst out laughing, Riley and Conner doing the same. Spike just watched, watching the vast amount of emotions crossing over her features.

"Yeah and what is a loser like you gonna do huh, bore me to death." Angel smirked at her laughing as he said it. Buffy's eyes welled up and she scrunched her face in anger. She punched him in the nose.

"You know what I've had enough, I really don't need this right now, just...shut up...how about instead of picking apart our lives take your interest into someone else's...just..." Buffy sighed and gave up she walked back to her table and put her head the way it was before and continued staring at the table. Dawn hugged her sister who had started to cry. Dawn glanced over at Spike a sad look on her face.

"FUCK!, that hurt, stupid bitch" Angel said holding his now bleeding nose. Spike was laughing on the inside, finally someone had hit the stupid poof and a girl at that. Now that was a Kodak moment.

No one had seen Buffy or any of her friends for the remainder of the day. The conclusion he came to was either they were "wagging' which was extremely unlikely or they had left and gone home. Spike was worried he had never seen her like this, he wanted to find out what was wrong and comfort her. He would have to go to the bronze tonight to find out.

...THE BRONZE THAT NIGHT...

Spike watched intently as Buffy and the rest of the band members played their set at the bronze. They were doing a shocking job. Buffy would just stand there at the mike and sing as if all her energy and life force had been sucked right out of her. Oz Strummed his guitar looking miserable, missing half of his cues, and as for Dawn well she hit the drum every few seconds. The band looked so miserable. Spike wondered what had happened overnight to cause the drastic change in their demure.

"What the hell is up with all the fucking girls today man...there all grumpy and shit." Conner said watching couples dance to the sloppy beat that was being played. He had a face of pure boredom, sitting there and drinking his lemonade.

"Don't know man but..." Angel stopped when he saw the slayer walk to the middle of the stage and start to talk. Spike, Riley, Angel and Conner all looked to the stage giving the band their undivided attention.

"Hey guys, I know we haven't been playing very well tonight and this is our last song...it's ded...sigh it's dedicated to someone that has passed away very recently. She was uh...very close to the band. But she was the closest to me and bit cause she was our mum... So we just wanna say goodbye." Buffy said emotion clearly in her voice, stuttering her way through the sentence as tears formed in her eyes. She stood in the middle of the stage staring out at the crowd who now watched silently. Buffy tried to keep a strong face as the slow melody started to played by Dawn and Oz.

The crowd was quite, in a way feeling the pain of the band through their music. Spike sat with Angel, Riley and Connor now understanding why Buffy and her friends had been so down at lunch. He smiled remembering how she had punched Angel. He watched now as she stood in front of a crowd saying goodbye to her mum through her song. Willow came up on stage and sat at the piano. Softly her voice started, the first few chords being stuttered over as she tried to force her tears back.

"I'm so tired of being here, Suppressed by all my childish fears, And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, Cause your presence still lingers here, And it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal, This pain is just too real, There's just too much that time cannot erase." Buffy looked at Xander, Giles and Anya who were sitting down at the table down on the floor. They were smiling at her but at the same time they wept. Buffy started to let the tears leak. With tears streaming down her face she sung. For her mother.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have, All of..." Buffy stopped singing. She looked down at the stage floor her body shaking. Wiping her face she looked up. Willow, continued to play.

"You used to captivate me, By your resonating life, Now I'm bound by the life, you've left behind, Your face it haunts, My once pleasant dreams, Your voice it chased away, All the sanity in me. These wounds wont seem to heal, this pain is just to real, there's just to much that time cannot erase. When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have, All of me." Buffy looked at her friends again, glancing out across the Bronze floor numerous people had tears in their eyes. 'Why were they sad, they hadn't lost their mother'. The tears came once more.

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone, But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along" Oz and Dawn played along with Willow as her fingers numbly swept across the keyboard.

"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears, And I held your hand through all of these years, But you still have, All of me..." Buffy's microphone smacked onto the floor with a loud crack. Realization had hit her. HER MOTHER WAS GONE and not coming back. This wasn't like a short holiday where her mother went away for a week or so...this was her life now. Dawn stopped strumming her guitar and rushed over to her sister, hugging her for support as Buffy wept. She picked up the microphone and placed it in it's stand.

"We'll be back tomorrow guys" Dawn said switching of the mike. The crowd remained silent as the music stopped, not sure whether to clap, cheer or stay silent. Giles stood as Dawn helped a distraught Buffy over to their table. The way Buffy had sung, he new her mother would have been proud. Buffy clung to Giles as he hugged her, rocking back and forth to sooth her.

"OH Buffy!" Willow sighed sadly bringing her friend into a tight and reassuring embrace. Angel, Connor, Spike and Riley watched from their table not to far away, any of them not being able to hear much. Giles was reassuring Buffy that everything was going to be ok.

"How can you say that...she's gone and she..." Buffy looked up at Giles from her spot clinging to Willows shoulder. Giles took of his glasses and started to wipe them down with a cloth as Dawn placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Silence'.

"Buffy that was beautiful, your mum would have loved it" Anya said smiling wiping the small tears that had leaked from her eyes. She hugged Buffy.

"Yeah Buff it was great, got me crying...and its hard to make the Xand man cry" Buffy looked up at her friends and let out a small laugh at their feeble attempts to make things better.

"I know its late and all...but would you guys mind if I went to the pools...I need to be alone for a while" Buffy said wiping her face and tucking loose strands of tangled hair behind her ears.

"Of coarse you can...just don't stay out to long...the pools shut at 10:30?" Buffy nodded his answer and quietly headed for the door trying her best to avoid the stares she was getting from the crowd. Many who smiled sadly at her. She didn't want their sympathy...it only made it hurt more.

"Hey did you just hear what I heard" Riley said excitedly looking at Angel, Spike and Connor.

"There is NO FUCKING BLOODY WAY that the slayer if BUFFY FRIGGEN SUMMERS. The slayer is way hotter than Buffy." Angel whispered to his gang with disbelief.

"She said she was going to the pools,...so lets go" Riley said getting up from the table. The rest of the group stood to following Buffy out the door.

"I hope you still in layer mood love" Spike whispered to himself. The chits mother had just died for pitty sake and here his mates are thinking about trying to figure out who the bloody hell she was. 'Sigh' life had the shittest times to reveal things.

**Well another chapter down:)...i apologize again for the lateness in my updates. reviews and feedback would be nice. thanx again to Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me**


	5. chapter 5

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Previously:**

"Hey did you just hear what I heard" Riley said excitedly looking at Angel, Spike and Connor.

"There is NO FUCKING BLOODY WAY that the slayer if BUFFY FRIGGEN SUMMERS. The slayer is way hotter than Buffy." Angel whispered to his gang with disbelief.

"She said she was going to the pools,...so lets go" Riley said getting up from the table. The rest of the group stood to following Buffy out the door.

"I hope you still in layer mood love" Spike whispered to himself. The chits mother had just died for pitty sake and here his mates are thinking about trying to figure out who the bloody hell she was. 'Sigh' life had the shittest times to reveal things.

**Secrets Out Chapter: 5**

Buffy walked into the leisure center and smiled as she smelt the chlorine. She came here most night's, preferring the night to day as it wasn't that busy. Buffy made her way up to the front desk and smiled. The staff here were really nice and she got along well with most of them especially Tara.

"Hey Buffy, I haven't seen you all weekend, are you ok. Its not like you to not come for a few days." Buffy smiled sadly at Tara's concerned face.

"Hey Tara...I'm good I guess, getting better. My uh...mum died...that's why I haven't been in a while." Buffy said sadly, tucking a stray piece of hair that had fallen onto her face.

"Oh sweetie" Tara said laying a hand on Buffy's arm which had been resting atop the counter. A comforting sympathetic look on her face.

"Is it ok if I borrow a towel for tonight. I had a bad set at the bronze...just came to cool down a bit, clear my head." Tara smiled at Buffy and pulled a towel from under the desk and passed it to Buffy.

"Have you got swimmers? Cause I have a spare pare if you want to use them you can" Tara asked eyebrow raised eyeing Buffy's outfit. Buffy just smiled.

"No its ok, wearing this..." Buffy pointed to her clothes and looked down.

"In a wired bra and normal undies is a tad un-comfy. So I have to wear my swimmers." Buffy laughed. She was wearing her black leather pants and a tight black leather boob tube that was zipped up at the back. She had her black clip in streaks still in and still wore her brown contacts in her eyes.

"Ok sweetie, well I finish in about half an hour so what's say I come keep you company for a bit" Buffy nodded, smiled and walked off towards the pool.

"Is this your first time at Sunnydale leisure Center?" Tara asked the four guys that stood before her. Everyone nodded except for Conner who said.

"I came here for a party a couple of years ago" he smiled. The guys just gave him weird looks again questioning his sexuality and age.

"Ok sweetie, well for the rest of you. The changing rooms are of to your left, pools are to the right and the gyms out the back. Oh and the spa is next to the pools, you'll need to wear one of these to gain entry to the spa." Tara said collecting their entry fee and passing them their wrist bands to entry to the spa.

"Thanks" They all said in sync. Smiling as they made their way through the gate.

"Fuck 'm glad we stopped at my house for swimmers" Spike said with a sigh/smile looking down at his board shorts. they weren't all that flashing but it was better than what Connor was wearing. He laughed to himself.

"Tell me again why I am the one stuck in Speedo's" Conner whined, hesitantly making his way from the male changing rooms to the guys who were in the pool already. He jumped in next to them as fast as he could, watching to see if anyone had seen his embarrassing attire. The water reached up to the guy's waists. Thankful hiding his budgie swimmers. 'Damn Spike and his old swimmers' Conner thought.

"Cause my man, there are three 17 year olds here and one 16 year old. There were three sets of boardies and one pair of Speedo's. And well 17 year olds just don't wear only Speedo's on their own." Riley said gesturing to himself, Spike and Angel and then at Connor. His arm slung over Connor's shoulder the whole time.

"Right and that means that 16 year olds do" Conner said glaring at Riley pushing the arm of his shoulder roughly. The guys all burst out laughing at the glare Connor sent their way.

"Uh huh..." Angel said his laughter dying down as something caught his eye. He hit Spike on the chest with his hand gesturing for him to followed his line of vision. Connor and Riley followed suit.

"What I wouldn't give to kiss that...mmmm...mmmm" Angel groaned checking out a girl who had a purple bikini on. It was a purple boob tube top and the bottoms to the bikini were designed to show of a hint of ass cheek, making it harder for the guys to avert their eyes another way. She was standing under the waterfall at the other side of the pool, directly opposite them. A hose/shower head was spraying the water out in spurts. The group groaned as the stunning woman lent her head back and let the water splash her chest. Long golden legs bending slightly.

One glance at that backside and Spike knew who it was instantly. He smirked. She was facing sideways to the group, so they couldn't see her face. Luckily she had left her hair and contacts in because as she turned they would have recognized her. Her wet hair was still in the braid with bits of hair were out and framing her face. Buffy groaned as she saw the group staring at her.

"Great I try to get away from all this shit tonight and it fucking following me everywhere... can't I grieve in piece" Buffy sighed quickly turning back around before they recognized her and ran over. She really didn't need their crap right now.

"I bet I could get her to kiss me" The words were out of his mouth before Spike could stop himself. Angel just laughed. 'yeah right he can get her to do this...or can he?' Angel thought glancing at the girl then back at Spikes face contemplating the idea.

"Guys we're supposed to be looking for the slayer...or Buffy...or whoever the hell she is." Riley said trying to get the guys back on track as the girl in the purple bikini ran her hands over her stomach and up her breasts making their way to her neck to push the hair out of the way.

"Yeah we'll do that later but right now I wanna see this. Fifty bucks says she won't go for you Willy boy...she looks like she needs a real man" Angel smirked at Spike puffing out his chest a bit. 'HA, The poof thinks she'll go for him, not bloody likely...Christ the chit's just lost her mother for fuck sake. You can't play her, but if I don't go and get her to do it, Angel will think he's one...well mate your screwed' Spike thought to himself as he nodded at Angel and swam his way slowly over to Buffy.

She had moved over to the pools edge with both arms braced on top she was leaning on it and floating, her back still facing the group of guys. 'Finally some piece and quiet' Buffy rested her head on her arms on the pools edge. She sighed letting a small tear leak from her eye.

"Buffy, don't turn around" Buffy jumped and squealed as she felt a hand make its way from her hip to her stomach pulling her away from the wall and closer to their chest. Buffy's heart was beating rapidly, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath she took.

"What the hell...hands of...what...Spike, what the hell are you doing. And why can't I turn around and HEY!" Buffy's voice rose as Spike lifted one of his legs and placed Buffy's backside on it. With his hands still holding onto her waist Buffy turned her head and glared at him. Her heart stopped as her eyes met his.

"Well pet my friends are behind me further away in the pool I'm sure you saw them already." Spike said his voice low and husky. Buffy laughed at his statement

"Yeah I saw them, the whole point of me coming here was to be alone...so Go...be gone." Buffy said trying to escape his grasp. Spike was having none of that.

"Pet I know you lost your mum and all and I'm really sorry. I want to help you get through it, but part of doing that is getting people like that off your back for a little bit yeah" Spike said bringing her closer and gesturing to Angel, Connor and Riley. Buffy's shoulders sagged as she listened to Spike. She sighed.

"What is it you want?" Buffy asked glancing at the group over at the opposite end of the pools. They were staring right at her.

"Well, back at the bronze they heard your mates call you Buffy... They want to know who you are and if you're the slayer or not, so they followed you hear. Then as we were scouting the pools for said person who does captain forehead spot...small golden girl in a very sexy swimsuit." Spike's voice got lower as he ran his hands over the tops of her thighs. Buffy lent her head back slightly onto Spike's shoulder as she closed her eyes.

"Angel was saying what he wouldn't do to kiss her, and I said I bet I could get you to kiss me." Buffy sighed as she leaned onto Spike more. His hands were running back and forth across her stomach and thighs as his voice thick and heavy talked into her ear in a husky tone.

"Really...a-and what happens if I let you kiss me." Buffy said leaning back more and turning her head to face Spike. Spike groaned at the look Buffy was giving him. 'We haven't even done anything and she's already practically killing me' Spike thought. Yep he was doomed.

"W-well for starters...I get fifty bucks of the poof...and I get privilege of kissing a goddess herself. Not to mention pet, if we do this right we can save your identity from coming out until your ready for it to." Buffy blushed at his words. He thought she was a goddess.

"What the hell is he doing, stop chatting her up you dick head, get her to kiss you already." Angel said watching them growing impatient, if she rejected Spike then he would get to try, and theirs no way she was going to refuse him.

"Dude she is so all over him." Riley smiled watching Buffy put her hands around Spike's neck and she turned to face him in the water. She was playing with the nape of his neck.

"Ok...but what do I get out of this little deal besides keeping my identity a secret for a little bit longer." Buffy smiled wrapping her legs around Spike's waist smiling to herself as she watched his eyes roll back and his lips part to an O. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her flush up against him.

"Well, I can give you twenty five bucks out of the fifty and I might be tempted to kiss you again if you like it that much." Spike smirked running a hand up her inner thigh as Buffy let out a soft moan.

"O-ok I'll kiss you...but you so owe me one for this." Buffy smiled as she tightened her grip around his waist and running her hands up his chest to his neck. She cupped his cheeks. Spike's back was to the guys and they could only see half of Buffy's face.

"Make sure there watching luv or it's all for nothing." Spike said softly running his hands down her back and cupping her bottom. Buffy nodded through hooded eyes.

"Let her rip then love" Spike smirked. Buffy hesitated at first brining her face close to his and then stopping, she gazed up at Spike and saw his cerulean eyes looking right back at her. There lips grazed each other. Soft and slow. 'God she was a goddess sent down to him' Spike groaned softly brining his hand to her neck as he pushed them up against the pool wall and pushing his tongue into her mouth. If he were to die right now oh yes heaven would be sweet.

**Well thanx again to everyone who reviewed the last chapter it's much appreciated. Thanx again to Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me**


	6. chapter 6

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**Hey guy's i know i haven't posted in a while and i'm sorry hides hopefully i'll have a few more chapters up soon. Also YES the previous chapter's have been BETAed by Chriss Nicole to whom i say thankyou so much:) Special thanx to those who reviewed for the last chapter:) hugs the reviews mean alot guys: PhotographyNut, Mali, cordykitten, smlcspike and jamieslady thanx again guys.**

**Enjoy:)**

**Previously:**

"Ok...but what do I get out of this little deal besides keeping my identity a secret for a little bit longer." Buffy smiled wrapping her legs around Spike's waist smiling to herself as she watched his eyes roll back and his lips part to an O. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her flush up against him.

"Well, I can give you twenty five bucks out of the fifty and I might be tempted to kiss you again if you like it that much." Spike smirked running a hand up her inner thigh as Buffy let out a soft moan.

"O-ok I'll kiss you...but you so owe me one for this." Buffy smiled as she tightened her grip around his waist and running her hands up his chest to his neck. She cupped his cheeks. Spike's back was to the guys and they could only see half of Buffy's face.

"Make sure there watching luv or it's all for nothing." Spike said softly running his hands down her back and cupping her bottom. Buffy nodded through hooded eyes.

"Let her rip then love" Spike smirked. Buffy hesitated at first brining her face close to his and then stopping, she gazed up at Spike and saw his cerulean eyes looking right back at her. There lips grazed each other. Soft and slow. 'God she was a goddess sent down to him' Spike groaned softly brining his hand to her neck as he pushed them up against the pool wall and pushing his tongue into her mouth. If he were to die right now oh yes heaven would be sweet.

**Secrets Out chpt: 6**

"Ok...but what do I get out of this little deal besides keeping my identity a secret for a little bit longer." Buffy smiled wrapping her legs around Spike's waist smiling to herself as she watched his eyes roll back and his lips part to an O. His arms wrapped around her waist pulling her flush up against him.

"Well, I can give you twenty five bucks out of the fifty and I might be tempted to kiss you again if you like it that much." Spike smirked running a hand up her inner thigh as Buffy let out a soft moan.

"O-ok I'll kiss you...but you so owe me one for this." Buffy smiled as she tightened her grip around his waist and running her hands up his chest to his neck. She cupped his cheeks. Spike's back was to the guys and they could only see half of Buffy's face.

"Make sure there watching luv or it's all for nothing." Spike said softly running his hands down her back and cupping her bottom. Buffy nodded through hooded eyes.

"Let her rip then love" Spike smirked. Buffy hesitated at first brining her face close to his and then stopping, she gazed up at Spike and saw his cerulean eyes looking right back at her. There lips grazed each other. Soft and slow. 'God she was a goddess sent down to him' Spike groaned softly brining his hand to her neck as he pushed them up against the pool wall and pushing his tongue into her mouth. If he were to die right now oh yes heaven would be sweet.

Secrets Out chpt: 6

"FUCKING HELL...how do you do that...I mean they never come up for air." Conner said after getting dumbfounded looks from his brother and Riley. A look that said "your shitting us right...you know how to kiss a girl"...his sexuality was seriously becoming a strange topic.

Staring at the couple who were locked at the mouth still yet to break for air. Entranced Riley spoke. "Yeah...They sure are good kissers" Tilting his head as the hot girl in the purple bikini wrapped her hand in Spike's hair.

"Why can't I ever find a girl who kisses like that." Angel wined staring with longing at the couple oblivious to the world around them. He sighed... life sucked sometimes.

Buffy and Spike pulled apart gasping for air as they rested their foreheads together. Buffy slowly let her legs loose from around Spike's waist and hopped down still breathless. He groaned in protest...after having been kissed like that he never wanted to let her out of his sight again.

"You owe me" Buffy said as she fixed her top and moved to climb out of the pool. She walked quickly towards the spa and sat down.

Spike watched her quicken her pace as his eye's bored into her back. "Oh no you don't luv...not getting away that easy" Spike thought as he smirked and followed suit. Climbing out of the pool to join Buffy in the Spa.

"So did you like it as much as I did, pet." Spike said smirking as he walked over to where Buffy was residing in the spa. Slowly lowering himself to stand opposite her he smiled. Buffy just stared back at him, her cheeks still flushed from the heated kiss. "oh boy...treading thin ice here Summers...no don't look at me like that" Buffy internally groaned as Spike curled his tongue onto the roof of his mouth and moved to sit down next to her.

"Maybe." Buffy whispered smiling as Spike leant his head down towards her ear. His whispered voice sent shivers all down her body causing goose bumps to pop up.

"Could you handle another one." He dipped his head further and started to kiss her neck. Reaching out with his left arm Spike pushed a button on the edge of the spa which started a buzzing sound and bubbles filled the spa. Shooting out through jets under the water. Buffy tilter her head to give Spike better access to her neck and groaned as his right hand moved across her stomach. Spike stopped his ministrations as Buffy pulled away and stared into his eyes. Smiling softly she spoke.

"The question isn't if I could handle another one...It's could you" Buffy whispered into his ear slowly moving one of her legs to be situated on either side of his waist. Straddling his waist she repeated what Spike was doing to her before, kissing his neck as one of her hand played with his chest. Moaning Spike moved his hands to her bottom and squeezed, bringing Buffy's lower body closer to his. Buffy's head fell onto his shoulder as soon as she felt something hard pressing against her center, their was no way she was doing anything like that with him but whoa, damn he was big. Slowly Buffy lifted her head and looked at Spike. He captured her lips with his and thus their dance started again.

"And he's at it again" Angel said throwing his hands in the air as if to give up turning around to look at his friends.

"And there off" Riley said at the same time as Angel, spinning to look at Angel and Connor. Connor who was off in space gazing around at the occupants of the center.

"Huh?" Conner said oblivious as to what was going on, watching as the girl who had served them when they first came in made her way over to them.

"Hey, I thought there were four of you guys..." Tara said swimming up to the guys, noticing that the one with bleached hair had gone. She wore a full piece and boardies. Noticing that she could reach the bottom of the pool in this section she stood. "You like it here so far." She continued smiling as the three guy's smiled back.

"Hello again. Yeah its nice in here, I didn't think there'd be this many people but." Riley said laughing. Tara joined in on his giggle. She was about to reply when someone started yelling at her.

"HEY TARA CHECK B OUT." Faith yelled from the top of the tall diving board, pointing towards the spa. Tara followed her gaze and smiled when she saw Buffy and the bleach blonde making with the smoochies.

"Who is that" Angle asked looking up at the girl with the dark hair who had yelled to Tara. He was entranced by her dark beauty. Faith wore a black bikini, the top half was done up around her neck.

"COMIN DOWN" Faith yelled as she cupped both her breasts to stop the material from flinging off as she hit the water. Making sure no one was under the water where she intended to land she dropped in feet first.

"Oh...T-that's Faith, she works here with me...she can be a bit loud at times." Tara said to Angel who couldn't keep his eyes off Faith. Faith's head came to the surface and she wiped her hair from her face. Spinning in the water she met Tara's gaze and smiled. Slowly making her way over.

"So Tara what's our girl doing making out with captain peroxide for, her boyfriend or something...I've never seen him before...and Hellooo cutie" Faith said standing next to Tara and resting her arm on Tara's Shoulder, she gestured towards Buffy. She looked at Angel as she saw him checking her out. She smiled.

"I have no idea." Tara shrugged turning her gaze away from Buffy and the other blonde and back towards the guys.

Conner started to tell Tara and Faith that they had all been looking for the slayer and that Angel had sort of dared Spike to kiss the girl in the purple bikini. Which Spike was still doing at that very minute.

"Hey uh short stuff, hate to break it to ya, but the girl in the purple bikini, the on your friend is, may I add, STILL making out with, is the slayer" Faith smirked. Laughing on the inside. "Males are so stupid" She thought.

"NO WAY" Riley said staring at Faith and then looking at Spike and "the slayer". Breaking the silence Angel spoke.

"Do you know if a Buffy Summers showed up, blonde, green eyes, about yay high" Angel said gesturing with his hand about how high Buffy was.

"UH um n-no I don't think so." Tara said unsure of weather they already knew who Buffy was. Just to be on the safe side they always said no. Faith and Tara had promised never to tell anyone who she really was when she was dressed as the slayer. They knew what life was like at the school and although Faith had said she could fix the situation Buffy had agreed with Tara that violence wasn't the answer. So for now they waited until the day that her secret came to bite her in the ass.

"YO B YOU GONNA COME UP FOR AIR ANYTIME SOON." Faith yelled. They were only a few people left in the entire center. Faith and Tara shut most nights and usually hopped in the pool after but because the only people left were the ones that were well known visitors Faith and Tara decided to hop in the pool early.

Buffy and Spike were panting as there lips separated. Buffy who was still sitting on top of Spike straddling his waist put her head on his shoulder.

"Now were even, yeah" Spike asked breathing heavily onto her neck. His hands still wrapped around the back of her waist.

"Not even close to even." Buffy said panting, eyes closed as Spike licked and nibbled on her neck.

"Really what do I have to do" Spike said in a husky voice nibbling on her ear.

"Not telling" Buffy moaned moving her head to the side to give him better access.

"Your evil Summers..." Spike said licking from her shoulder to her ear, causing yet another set of goose bumps to cover her body. "And I like it" he whispered grabbing her arse and bringing her closer.

"HEY B YOU GONNA COME OVA OR CONTINUE TO SUCK FACE WITH MR HOTTIE OVER THERE." Buffy turned her head her eyes wide, not realizing that they had been watched for god knows how long. Faith's voice had broken her out of her trance. Looking in the direction of the voice she saw faith standing with Tara...Angel...Riley and Connor. "great JUST great" Buffy sighed internally.

"Do your friends know who I am." Buffy asked looking up at Spike as she slowly slid off of his lap.

"I think they know you're the slayer, and I know they think your Buffy." Spike said still sitting down readjusting himself under the water.

"OK, I can do this." Buffy said climbing out of the spa and walking to the edge of the pool. She dove in and noticed the temperature change from the spa to the pool instantly. The water felt freezing cold. Slowly swimming in the direction of the group she thought about the impending doom she was about to face. "Why'd you have to go mum, I miss you" Buffy thought looking behind her seeing Spike diving into the pool and swimming after her. "He gives me strength" Buffy smiled to herself and kept swimming.

**I'm sorry for the late update and hopefully it wont be this long inbetween gaps for each new chapter. Aneway I hope you guys enjoyed it. Thanx again to Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:) and also special thanx to those who reviewed for the last chapter:) hugs the reviews mean alot guys **

**PhotographyNut, Mali, cordykitten, smlcspike and jamieslady thanx again guys.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**I hope you guy's dont kill me for this chapter...sigh this chapter has it's up's and downs but dont worry it'll get better...(i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Previously:**

"HEY B YOU GONNA COME OVA OR CONTINUE TO SUCK FACE WITH MR HOTTIE OVER THERE." Buffy turned her head her eyes wide, not realizing that they had been watched for god knows how long. Faith's voice had broken her out of her trance. Looking in the direction of the voice she saw faith standing with Tara...Angel...Riley and Connor. "Great JUST great" Buffy sighed internally.

"Do your friends know who I am." Buffy asked looking up at Spike as she slowly slid off of his lap.

"I think they know you're the slayer, and I know they think your Buffy." Spike said still sitting down readjusting himself under the water.

"OK, I can do this." Buffy said climbing out of the spa and walking to the edge of the pool. She dove in and noticed the temperature change from the spa to the pool instantly. The water felt freezing cold. Slowly swimming in the direction of the group she thought about the impending doom she was about to face. "Why'd you have to go mum, I miss you" Buffy thought looking behind her seeing Spike diving into the pool and swimming after her. "He gives me strength" Buffy smiled to herself and kept swimming.

**Secrets Out Chapter 7:**

Buffy was up to her bust in water slowly half swimming half walking along the bottom of the pool making her way towards her impending doom when she felt something brush up against her legs.

"AGH" Buffy let out a startled scream as she was lifted from the water. Looking down at the person's shoulders she was now sitting on she glared at the bleach head.

"I am so gonna get you for that" Buffy said, hitting Spike on the shoulders. He just sent her a smirk and held onto her hands as Buffy almost lost her balance and fell off.

"I can't wait pet" He smirked jumping a little to readjust Buffy's position on his shoulders. Letting out another squeal she grasped onto his hands better. They made their way over to the group.

"Hey B, so...apart from making out with Mr. hottie you got there...you having a fun time." Faith smiled as Buffy and Spike came to a stop in front of the group.

"Just asking a question here...why do you keep calling her B" Conner asked as Buffy slid down Spike's back and wrapped her legs around his waist. Angel and the rest of the male group gave Buffy a look waiting for their answer. Buffy sent Faith a questioning glance "Did you tell them who I am?" Faith replied with a look of her own "No why the fuck would I". Tara saw the look's between the two girls and then glanced at the group of males watching as their own brains clicked over answers.

"I-it's a nickname...like the slayer...or...um yeah" Tara smiled nodding a bit as if she was reassuring herself with her answer.

"What is your real name then...cause me and my mates heard your friends talking to you and they called you Buffy, are you Buffy...you sure as hell don't look like her" Angel asked staring at Buffy.

"Buffy...she's a...uh...a real good friend of mine, and as for my name I can't tell you, it's a secret. Only Faith and Tara and Spike know, isn't that right honey." Buffy smiled sweetly kissing Spikes neck as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lifted herself higher in the water. Untwisting her legs from his waist and moving them higher she rewrapped them. Making her position more comfortable. Spike just smiled and held onto her thigh's with his hands.

"I know all about you guys but...Spikey here's told me all about you." Buffy let out a laugh as Spike tightened his grip on her legs. "What are you playing at luv" He thought seeing the glares the males were sending him. Buffy just let out another laugh.

"Don't worry it's nothing bad, no need to get anyone's panties in a twist. Conner right?" Buffy asked as Connor's eyes met hers. He nodded. "Just wanna let you in on a little secret...my sis has a crush on you." As his eyes grew wide Buffy smiled. Dawn would kick her ass once she told her that Connor knows but she'd be thanking her with the outcome of it all. "I'm pretty sure you know her, she goes by the name of Bit or Niblet" Buffy smiled again as Conner blushed and ducked his head, wiping a strand of hair from his eye's.

"So...How is it that you know her name." Angel asked directing his question at Spike, who's hands were now linked with Buffy's on his chest. He smirked at Angel. "Oh yeah I got the girl mate, sucks don't it" He thought to himself.

"Oh we go way back...Yeah...Been dating for a while now." Buffy's eyes went wide as her head went behind Spikes back. "What the hell are you playing at" She though as she tightened her grip around Spike's waist. "If she holds on any more tighter I'm gonna explode". There was a very uncomfortable silence in the group everyone looking around. Angel gave Buffy and Spike a "Sure I so don't believe that bullshit" look. Conner broke the silence.

"That song you guys sang as your last one tonight...it was really good." Buffy looked down at the water in the pool and slowly slipped her arm's and legs from around Spike's waist and neck.

"Yeah...it um...I-I think I'm just gonna head on home, I'll see you guys another night yeah" Buffy smiled softly at Tara and Faith as she made her way over towards the pool stairs. Everyone watched Buffy's retreating back as she made her way into the change room's to put her clothes back on.

As soon as Buffy had climbed out of the pool Spike turned around and glared at Connor smacking him on the chest.

"Stupid Git" Spike said shaking his head as he made his way over to the pool stair's that Buffy had used to climb out.

"I d-didn't mean it like...that" Connor said lowering his head as Tara smiled softly at him understanding that he never intended to hurt Buffy. Riley, Angel and Faith just watched Spike's retreating back.

After getting changed into her clothes she had been wearing at the bronze that night Buffy made her way past the front desk, dropping the towel Tara had lent her for the night on a chair. Letting the double door's slide open Buffy welcomed the crisp night air as a breeze hit her. She hugged her arms around herself and made a start to walk in the direction of her house. A voice stopped her.

"Buffy are you ok pet." Spike asked. He had been waiting outside of the leisure centre when Buffy came out. Watching as she hugged herself and looked towards the ground as she walked.

"Do I look ok...no...I can't cry in front of Dawn...I-I feel like crying all the time but I can't...I have to be strong for her, for everyone." Buffy looked at the ground and hugged her arm's around herself some more. Looking back up at Spike with teary eye's she continued. "I've been working. I've been busy because I have to, adding more training in... going to the pool every night, god making Dawn lunch and making sure she's awake on time." Buffy let out a sob as her body started to shake. Spike wrapped and arm around her waist in comfort, noticing the group walk out and stand near the doors Spike wrapped his arm around her tighter.

"I have to do this things...because when I stop...then she's really gone" Buffy's body shook with the force of her tears. "And I'm trying...really trying to take care of things...b-but I don't even know what I'm doing...mum always knew." Buffy looked up at Spike with wide eyes. "I have to be mum now. No one else is going to be...who's going to make things better...who's gonna take care of us..." Buffy burst into tears, the worst she'd cried in a long time. Spike pulled her close to him as she buried her head in the crook of his chest. She wrapped her arm's around his waist as she cried harder, if that were even possible.

Faith, Angel, Tara, Connor and Riley all watched the conversation being had by Buffy and Spike. Tara looked at Faith with a sad smile. Angel, Riley and Connor just looked at one another not knowing what to say. They watched as Buffy clung to Spike as if he were her life line, her body being held up in his arm's as she cried. As if Buffy was mother nature herself the clouds opened up with a crack and let a downpour of rain engulf them all. Buffy's shed tears and pain were being told to everyone in Sunnydale as it bucketed down.

"C'mon pet we'll get you home" Spike said directing a sobbing Buffy over to his car. After putting Buffy in the passenger seat of his car he looked up at Angel and the rest of his friends. Sending Angel a look that said "Your gonna need to get your own way home" he climbed in to the drivers seat and started the engine. "You got a long way to go pet but I'll be here, I'll help" Spike silently vowed to himself. Buffy sat staring out the car window watching as rain splashed onto the glass, watching the droplets gather and make streams to the road.

"Why did you have to leave me" She whispered to herself resting her head against the seat and closing her eyes, letting a few lone tears make their way down her cheeks to splash onto her shirt.

**Well that was an imotional ending to the pool scene...not everything is butterflies and daffodiles in sunnydale. sigh i loved joyce's character it was a shame joss had the character killed off.**

**I'd like to say thanx to all of those who have reviewed so far:) i hope your all enjoying the story:)...more to some soon**

**Also again i'd like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary: **Buffy and her sister Dawn are in high school along with the rest of the gang, Willow, Anya, Xander and Oz. Know throughout the entire school, for years their group has been known as THE LOSERS. But not for long. Spike Giles aka the hot new guy recently transfer student from England is going to shake up their world.

Buffy and her friends are leading double lives where they are in a band called Fang, Buffy is the lead singer who likes to be known by her fans as slayer, Dawn aka the bands drummer is commonly known as Bit and Niblet, Oz aka bands guitarist goes by the name of Wolf. No one knew there true identity, they were happy the way things were. But that all changed the day he walked into her life and rocked her safe little world. How long will their secret STAY a secret. Read and find out.

a target"blank" img src"http://i52. border"0" alt"Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket" /a 

**OMG i am soooo sorry for the late update crindges dont hit me...i hope you all like it... **** (i'd just like to thank Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:))**

**Previously: **

"Buffy are you ok pet...?" Spike asked. He had been waiting outside of the leisure centre when Buffy came out. Watching as she hugged herself and looked towards the ground as she walked.

"Do I look ok...no...I can't cry in front of Dawn...I-I feel like crying all the time but I can't...I have to be strong for her, for everyone." Buffy looked at the ground and hugged her arm's around herself some more. Looking back up at Spike with teary eye's she continued. "I've been working. I've been busy because I have to, adding more training in... going to the pool every night, god making Dawn lunch and making sure she's awake on time." Buffy let out a sob as her body started to shake. Spike wrapped and arm around her waist in comfort, noticing the group walk out and stand near the doors Spike wrapped his arm around her tighter.

"I have to do this things...because when I stop...then she's really gone" Buffy's body shook with the force of her tears. "And I'm trying...really trying to take care of things...b-but I don't even know what I'm doing...mum always knew." Buffy looked up at Spike with wide eyes. "I have to be mum now. No one else is going to be...who's going to make things better...who's gonna take care of us..." Buffy burst into tears, the worst she'd cried in a long time. Spike pulled her close to him as she buried her head in the crook of his chest. She wrapped her arm's around his waist as she cried harder, if that were even possible.

Faith, Angel, Tara, Connor and Riley all watched the conversation being had by Buffy and Spike. Tara looked at Faith with a sad smile. Angel, Riley and Connor just looked at one another not knowing what to say. They watched as Buffy clung to Spike as if he were her life line, her body being held up in his arm's as she cried. As if Buffy was mother nature herself the clouds opened up with a crack and let a downpour of rain engulf them all. Buffy's shed tears and pain were being told to everyone in Sunnydale as it bucketed down.

"C'mon pet we'll get you home" Spike said directing a sobbing Buffy over to his car. After putting Buffy in the passenger seat of his car he looked up at Angel and the rest of his friends. Sending Angel a look that said "Your gonna need to get your own way home" he climbed in to the drivers seat and started the engine. "You got a long way to go pet but I'll be here, I'll help" Spike silently vowed to himself. Buffy sat staring out the car window watching as rain splashed onto the glass, watching the droplets gather and make streams to the road.

"Why did you have to leave me" She whispered to herself resting her head against the seat and closing her eyes, letting a few lone tears make their way down her cheeks to splash onto her shirt.

**Secrets Out Chapter 8:**

What was that saying again..."all good things must come to an end"...one minute your world's happy, your surrounded by everything and everyone important to you and then next everything just falls apart, they fall apart so hard you can't ever put them back the way they were. Glancing over at the blonde girl currently sleeping in his car with her head resting against the cold glass causing it to fog up whenever she breathed out, Spike sighed.

Pulling up to a stop outside Buffy's house Spike switched the engine off. Looking again over at Buffy her faced scrunched and she huddled her arms closer around her body as she dreamed. The tears drying on her face. Giving a sympathetic and sad look Spike leant over and brushed a few strands of hair from her face and tucked them behind her ears.

"Buffy, luv were here." Spike whispered leaning towards Buffy. Buffy stretched her arms and legs as much as the seat would let her and turned her head to see Spikes blue eyes locked on hers. Smiling softly she watched as he leant back into his own seat. Wiping the dried tears from her cheeks Buffy sat up and pulled her top down to cover her stomach. It had ridden up as she stretched.

"Thank you for driving me home" She smiled sheepishly and made a move to open the car door. It was still raining heavily and Buffy could only just make out the lights on the front porch. Spike leant over and touched her arm. Turning back to face him Buffy met his sad gaze.

"You know...I-I'm here to talk to...if you ever feel the need to pet. You shouldn't keep emotions bottled up like that." Spike rested a hand on Buffy's that was on the seat between them. Buffy nodded with a sad smile.

"Thanks. I-I'll uh... see you tomorrow ok." Their was a silence between them, neither knowing what else to say. Spike nodded and watched as Buffy turned and opened the door. She ran for the front porch trying to avoid getting wet as much as possible covering her head as she went. Squinting through the downpour Spike watched the front door open and saw the outline of Buffy's form go inside. Only once he was sure she was safe inside did Spike start up the engine and make his own way home.

"Soooooo, I saw you in the car with Spike huh, huh" Dawn smiled raising her eyebrows suggestively as she jumped onto Buffy's bed. Buffy was tucked under the sheets laying on her side. Noticing her sister's lack of acknowledgment and more of a silence towards the statement Dawn started to worry. Anything related to possible kissage with a really hot male usually got Buffy's attention, but not tonight.

"You ok...your quiet, which for you...is not of the norm" Dawn asked crossing her legs so she sat Indian style on Buffy's bed next to her. Buffy looked up from her position at her little sister and smiled softly.

"I'm doing ok, just...everything kinda hit home tonight. Mum being gone... having to plan the funeral. She's really gone and...it's hard. I don't know how to do this Dawny." Buffy said hugging the sheets around her more tightly. Her eye's started to well up with tears as a few dropped onto her cheeks, running down to her pillow. Dawn sighed and moved to hug her sister.

"No ones asking you to do all this stuff Buffy. Giles is here and he's looking after us. We have friends, Xander and Willow. We're all family now, we'll look after each other." Dawn's own eyes welled up with unshed tears at hearing her sister's body shake as tears streamed down her face. Laying down next to facing her sister Dawn smiled softly.

"It'll get better...in time." Dawn whispered in a voice that was not only trying to reassure Buffy but at the same time reassure herself. 'Things would have to get better, they couldn't stay like this forever' Dawn thought as she closed her eyes and hugged her sister. They stayed like that for hours. Hugging each other for support and comfort. Soon the sobs died down and Buffy's breathing evened out as Buffy fell asleep. Dawn hesitantly got up and made her way to her own room. Wiping her own shed tears from her cheeks she lay down and prayed. For things to get better, for everyone to make it through this rough time in one piece.

People dressed in black had cried. Silent tears, others streams down their face for the loss of a loved one. But there were a group of who looked utterly broken. One, a blonde Buffy Summers had pulled herself together and made her way up to the front of the church and taken a seat on a stool in front of a piano. She was saying her final goodbyes. Her mothers closed casket only a few meters from her.

Buffy looked over at Dawn who was seated next to Spike and Willow. Giles, Oz, Xander and Anya sitting in the same row. Tara and Fauth had also shown up, sitting behind the close group of friends in the second row. Buffy started to play a few notes then stopped. "This is uh...I wrote this a few days ago...A final goodbye to the most wonderful person in the world" A lone tear slipped from Buffy's eye. As the rest of the residence in the church looked on with sad faces. Father Caleb nodded at Buffy sadly as he turned to play the starting notes again.

"Forget me not I ask of you, wherever your life takes you to, and if we ever meet again, think of me every now and then. We had just one day to recall, now all I want is something more, than just a fading memory, left wondering what could have been" Buffy's eyes welled up with tears but she refused to let them fall.

"Isn't it a shame, that when timings all wrong, you're doing what you never meant to, there's always something that prevents you, but I believe in fate, it had to happen this way, but it always leaves me wanting whether..., in another life we'd be together, were sure for lucky we can say..., we've always got yesterday" The notes and Buffy's voice grew stronger and then she stopped, just playing the soft notes on the piano. Again her voice was soft with a sad tone to it. She glanced at her mothers casket.

"And as I leave it all behind, your still emblazoned in my mind, when for that very special day, nobody loved me in that way, forget me not I ask of you wherever you life takes you to, and if we ever meet again, think of me every now and then" Buffy played a few more notes as her eyes couldn't hold back the tears any more. Slowly they started to fall from her eyes.

"Forget me not I ask, I ask of you" Buffy's eyes closed as her body racked with a silent sob. Father Caleb placed a hand on Buffy's shoulder as he said a few words, people started to rise and make their way outside as Joyce's coffin was lifted by four men and carried out to where her final resting place would be.

"You did good today Buffy...Your mother would have liked it" Giles said as he hugged Buffy and Dawn. People were only just starting to leave the Summer's house. The wake they had held for their mother after the funeral had been a sad one. People coming up to Buffy saying they were sorry for her loss, trying to make things better but only making it worse by reminding her that her mother was gone.

Smiling sadly at Giles, Buffy nodded. Dawn had gone to the door to see of the last of their 'Guests'. Buffy was about to say something to Giles when Spike came and touched her arm. Turning Buffy molded herself into his arms wrapping her own around his waist. Spike sent Giles a look and he nodded walking away to start cleaning up.

"Can I show you something luv" Spike asked taking Buffy's small hand in his seeing her eyes being raised to meet his. She nodded and followed his lead.

"Yeah sure" Spike smiled softly and led her outside to the back porch. They sat down on the stairs and Spike placed an arm around her shoulders. Buffy huddled into his side.

"It's so quiet at night...so peaceful" He paused and smiled to himself and then continued "When my mum w..." There was another pause "When my mum went I used to come outside at night all the time, just look up at the stars and see her face smiling back at me, knowing she was there watching over me." Spike placed both hands behind him to hold his weight up and tilted his head back...as if he was basking in the stars rays. Buffy smiled softly and then did the same.

"She was the only one of my flesh and blood, now I have no calling I can do no worldly good mmhmm mmhmm" Spike hummed to his own tune. He closed his eyes. Buffy turned to look at him with a blank look on her face. He continued.

"I sit silent, I sit mourning, I sit listless all the day. I've mostly lost the voice to say except, does heaven have enough angels yet mmhmm mmhmm" Spike had sat up again and glanced over at Buffy who's eyes had again welled up with tears.

"I've gone hard and I've gone cold, can't make the pieces of this cracked life fit, please forgive me for wanting to know, does heaven have enough angels yet mmhmm mmhmm" Buffy joined in softly with (does heaven have enough angels yet) and smiled softly at Spike. placing her hand in his Spike gave it a squeeze and continued to sing softly.

"Together oh together, no there be no more of that, I would not dare for myself to ask, does heaven have enough angels yet mmhmm mmhmm" Buffy lay her head on Spikes shoulder as she softly sang the last part along with him, humming softly.

"She was the only one, my own flesh and blood, sometimes I hear her calling straight from he house of god mmhmm mmhmm" Squeezing Buffy's hand again in reassurance that everything would be alright she smiled and squeezed his hand back.

"That was beautiful...thank you" She whispered closing her eyes. From inside the house Dawn and Giles watched the couple, both had tears in their eyes but at the same time they were smiling. Smiling in a silent fact that they knew everything would be alright.

**thanx Chriss Nicole for BETAing this story for me:)**

**originally in the chapter i was only going to get buffy to sing her song which btw is called Forget me not by Lucie Silvas. i know this song is more for a male female relationship btu i was going through my music folders and listned to it and was like sigh it just suited and then i had scrolled through my music some more and found Only one by Tracy and was like OMG why didnt i put that in there first...so i thought stuff it i'll do both but Spike can show some more of his softer side and past with his mother:) anyway i hoped you like it and MAJOR thanx to everyone who has reviewed:) hugs all round**


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